Spending my NY-eve in a train heading from Beijing trough Mongolia during the coldest time of the year, struggling on the question why I’m here in the first place. Having nothing but 2 packs of plain noodles, some water and my own thoughts for the next 40 hours. Am I really that crazy, were al the critics right? Or is there a reason for me being here while I could have gone anywhere else. There are no tourists in this train and I can imagine why. Minus 35C is no fun, it’s freezing like crazy and the picture of me sleeping in a tent next week sounds even to me let’s say “a little odd”. I’m unprepared by choice right now, and the reason why is a mystery to me.
I live my life in extremes, I’ll always try to put everything to a limit, whether that limit is legal or not. To explore my own boundaries, rules have always been just a suggestion to me. I want to see how far I could reach with my own eyes. Never have I really took the time to think about “why”, rather than “how”.
Thinking of why, I noticed a strong desire to change and develop. Where everyone else around me is settling, I felt I’m not ready for that laid out path yet. I have to experience some wildness still, taking a different exit. In order to change or improve, I have to be pushed to fear, sometimes by myself, sometimes just by bad luck. The first time I went to Asia, the first time Africa, the times I got arrested or got kicked off school, even the day I buried my mom when I was 9. I had my life changing lessons.
Asia thought me to respect other people, Africa thought my how to laugh with my heart, and the loss of my mom gained me a new step family which proved to me you don’t have to share blood to be a brother.
This is my Mongolian lesson, I’m not afraid of the unknown or extremes anymore. I basically need them. I allow them to push me. If it doesn’t scary the shit out of me, it will never change me either.
That’s my why.
#WhyWeTravel
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